Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Believers Marrying Unbelievers

     Though  it  is  not  always  wise,  it  is  not  inherently  sinful  for a believer to marry
an unbeliever. The New Testament does not explicitly state, nor does it imply that such a
marriage is sinful. Therefore, we must be cautious not to make laws that God did not 
make. To do so is itself sinful. "There is one lawgiver and judge, the one who is able to
save and to destroy. But you, who are you, the one judging your neighbor?" (James 4:12)
God is the lawgiver and judge! When we makes laws for God we impeach his perfect
wisdom, and we meddle in an area that is off limits for human beings. I can think of a
number of reasons why a Christian should marry a faithful member of Christ's body, but
I refuse to formulate a law that says it is sinful for a Christian to marry an unbeliever.
There are certain  believers  who  should  not  marry  other  believers  because  they
lack the qualities that are conducive to a successful marriage.

     Paul wrote, "To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is
an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman
has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not
divorce him." (1 Cor. 7:12-13, ESV) Some people argue that this refers to a marriage
that occurred while they were both unbelievers. I ask, "So what?" It doesn't matter. The
fact is, Paul said the believing mate is "not to divorce him/her." If the relationship is inherently
wrong, how can they remain married? Paul goes on to say, "For the unbelieving husband
has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through
her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."
(1 Cor. 7:14, NIV-2011) The unbelieving husband or wife "sanctified" through the
believing wife or husband? Yes, that is exactly what Paul wrote. The unbelieving mate is
not "sanctified" in the sense of being consecrated in the Lord, that is a Christian and saved.

     A  person  becomes  a  Christian  by  obeying  the  gospel  of  Christ.  (Mat. 28:19;
1 Cor. 12:13;  Acts 11:26) The word from which "sanctified" is translated is used in a
specialized sense. In this text the meaning is the unbelieving mate is in an acceptable
union, and the unbeliever is acceptable as a mate. God  accepts the marriage as a
legitimate relationship. The word  "sanctified"  (Grk. hagiazo),  in  the  context  of
1 Cor. 7  connotes  to be "accepted or acknowledged" by God as being in an approved
state (marriage) with a Christian, a child of God. A believer, if faithful to the Lord,  who is
married to an unbeliever, wields a powerful influence for good, and to the extent that the
unbeliever yields to the mate's life of holiness, they are "set apart" for each other in the
marriage. If the relationship is not acceptable to God, the children born in the union
would be unclean, but they are "holy" (consecrated, that is, legitimate).  (1 Cor. 7:14) 

     Some teach 2 Cor. 6:14-16 forbids a believer marrying an unbeliever. The context of
the passage discusses an "unequal yoke," namely, "Christ and Belial," "the temple of God
with idols," and the like. A marriage between a believer and an unbeliever is not necessarily
an unequal yoke, anymore than a believer being employed by an unbeliever is an unequal
yoke. The unequal yoke Paul discusses must be dissolved, for he says, "Therefore go out
from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord..." (2 Cor. 6:17) Yet, he tells
the believers who are married to unbelievers in 1 Cor. 7 not to separate from or divorce
their mates.

     There are many reasons why a believer should not consider an unbeliever as a first
choice for a mate. For example, a person should marry someone who will help create an
atmosphere conducive to growth and stability in the home, and who can encourage both
partners to seek heaven as an eternal home. Nevertheless, care must be taken not to make
and bind laws that Yahweh has not made!  He  has  made  no  law  forbidding  marriage
between believers and unbelievers.
                                                                                                                       R. Daly

Copyright 2012

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